I figure that in order to be a Satanist, you have to worship Satan, and they don't seem to. So why don't they qualify?

Or is it just all groups you don't agree with don't qualify? Hopefully you see the logic collapses at that point.

I'm quite fond of the word Christianist - it appears to be basically all White Evangelicals and (if the polls are to be believed) most Republicans as well...

"If all I knew of the Lord were those who claim to love Him, then I should not care to make His acquaintance."