I think the new realities are hitting men hard, and like the other privileged classes they're suffering from a bit of projection - traditionally, it was the wife's needs that were unimportant. The idea of recognizing that good sex is a two way street and her needs do matter is stressful.

Personally, I don't understand the issue at all. If she's not enjoying herself then I won't enjoy it either. Both parties have to hold up their end of the bargain. It's work, but the very best work there is.