The weirdos, if they are not the majority already, are strong enough to throw the entire discussion into the spiral of silence.
On the internet, absolutely. In real life? I doubt it. Approach social media with the attitude of, “This is probably bullshit.” Ignoring social media entirely is probably healthier yet.
Say ‘I don’t want to be picked last and compared against tons of previous partners, and always lose’ to be retorted with ‘just be good bro’.
Start by being clear on your statements. Nobody wants to finish last, and nobody wants to lose. Those are a given, hence not useful.
When I read articles and comments, I’ve noticed that members of the anti-women crowd often give themselves away if you let them talk enough. It turns out they’re abusive, cheat, lie, tell dates they’re looking for a partner when they want to get laid, etc.
You have to ask why someone would get passed over. Many men dislike women in general. Some guys are dishonest or obnoxious. They all deserve to finish last.
Anything you do to reduce the pool of candidates will lower your chances: men who want to be the undisputed head of the household, or are socially, politically, or religiously conservative are likely out of step with young women and will find their chances reduced. Freedom of speech exists to protect unpopular speech, but the key word there is unpopular — it turns people off. Bathe regularly and dress nicely. Men who are selfish or otherwise unpleasant in bed will have trouble getting further dates.
Just saying you don’t want to be picked last ignores the fact that it may be your fault.
Point out “filtering photos and wearing too much make up is deceptive” to be retorted with “you have no say on how a woman presents herself”.
Two things can be true: it is deceptive, but also true that men have no say over how women present themselves. You can choose not to date them. Turning down a woman who is lovely on the inside because she’s not as lovely as you thought on the outside is a choice.
Similarly, women should reject guys who lie in their bio.
Say “some women are attracted to jerks, and overlook red flags due to his attractiveness” to be asked, in a derisive tone, “do you think you know better what a woman wants than a woman?”
It’s not anybody else’s business why one person is attracted to another. And let’s be honest, men are way worse. A pretty girl won’t just cause men to ignore red flags, they’ll overturn their whole lives. Maybe even start a war (the plot of The Iliad). The percentage of divorces that fall victim to this is probably substantial.
If a guy lets the fact that some women are attracted to jerks inform their opinion of women generally, that’s a huge red flag against him. (A) it’s hypocritical, and (B) it’s not particularly relevant. Don’t date such women; look for someone else. Or do what women have traditionally done — let men finish sowing their wild oats and grow up. But somehow, when a woman does the same thing, she’s a slut, her “body count” is too high, etc.
Complaining about women attracted to unsuitable men is the rawest of hypocrisies.
Many of this by other men who want to score virtue points by shouting down other guys. No healthy discussion can flourish after this.
I think it can — if healthy discussion is what men want. Mostly, I don’t think it is. I primarily hear bad-faith arguments, complaining, and general negativity without context. Plenty of misogyny. Conservative activists trying to sow division. Dating coaches, YouTubers, and influencers gunning for clicks. Guys who would rather give up than try to improve. Less attractive men who hate getting turned down but ignore less attractive women.
A short, bald, overweight, middle-class Trump supporter who only swipes right on 7s or above is going to die alone, and it’s entirely his fault.
I think the onus is on the men who complain to demonstrate they are operating in good faith, aren’t hypocrites, and have taken steps to be more attractive.
P.S. Not that they’re all wrong. Women can be as shitty as anybody. You can do everything right and still wind up ignored or abandoned — just like has been the case for women all these centuries.
Life isn’t fair. It used to be more unfair to women in that they had to marry to survive. Now, the unfairness is starting to balance out, and men don’t like it. I don’t blame them. But the reality is that a Y chromosome isn’t the guarantee it once was. So, as with species in the wild, when females start making different choices, males adapt or perish.
