John Werth
3 min readMay 23, 2022

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Those issues are the ones that I see and hear, both from leadership and the people I interact with. In fact, all the points I touched on were quotes from articles and responses on Medium.

As to layers of nuance — science has proven dolphins can tell each other apart, too. It’s hard for me to, but they all can.

Telling conservatives apart is only slightly easier than dolphins. I can distinguish the faces, but the opinions run together. For example, three out of every four Republicans is a white Christian. You probably see those different grades of Christian as significant. I don’t.

Conservatives: I can tell them apart, but it’s work.

The reason is that the left is a jumble of everything else, every color and religion, liberals and conservatives…it’s like the U.N. You’ve got various kinds of Protestants and Catholics, and a handful of others. We’ve got all of those and a bunch more. The percentage of the GOP that’s Black is in the single digits; among Dems, it’s almost a quarter. There are a small scattering of LGBTQ+ folks on the right — where they’re more or less shunned, so they’re pretty much all over here. You’ve got various grades of capitalists, we’ve got everything from Socialists to free-marketeers. It’s a madhouse.

The left is a tad more varied…

Seen from that vantage point, you guys really do seem pretty much all the same. And it’s true that almost every conversation with a conservative includes the same goddamn talking points, often presented in the same goddamn language. Maybe you can tell the difference. Sounds like a pet shop full of parrots to me.

And the problem is, they’re usually lousy arguments. I don’t learn much.

Seriously, dealing with conservatives is like watching Groundhog Day — every day, another one saying the same things, over and over and over and over…

On your other points, you appear to be confused.

I’m not “crowing” anything, and this is one of those things that drives me bonkers — nothing is black and white. All I assert is that no, science hasn’t proven/decided when life begins. Saying that isn’t the same as proving it doesn’t. It means it’s not known. I’m not claiming to know the answer, I’m merely objecting to people who claim they do.

So given that there is no scientific basis for deciding the abortion issue, we have to figure it out some other way. You choose the sacred, I reject deciding things on the basis of any one group’s idea of sacred. Government shouldn’t be in the business of sanctifying anything: we live in a representative democracy, that’s how decisions get made. Being on the wrong end of decisions is a part of life that some of us have had to get used to. White Christian conservatives aren’t familiar or comfortable with that experience. I sympathize. It sucks. But it’s also the essence of democracy — the most important thing is the willingness to lose, otherwise the system breaks down.

The last point is responding to several people who claimed their primary objection to abortion was paying for it. I’m not making any representation, vile or otherwise, just quoting some people. Argue vileness with them. All I’m saying is that I don’t believe them.

So once again, here I am writing a long explainer, trying to get some conservative past the same misunderstanding you guys always have.

You are a little more interesting than most, though, like that one dolphin with the notched fin. So kudos.

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John Werth
John Werth

Written by John Werth

Musician and conductor, repairer of woodwinds, owner of dogs, band director, lapsed mathematician, and scribbler of thoughts on humor, politics or both at once.

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