We all have to check in on our biases. I’m not a Christian, and after the Biden Inauguration I complained to some liberals about it being so heavily religious…and was slapped down. “He’s Catholic and should have the ceremony he wants.” Substitute religion for race and imagine an event as white-only as that one was Christian-only. Those same people would freak.

To be honest, I don’t understand trans people or gay men. But there’s no reason I would — I hit puberty, and suddenly my world revolved around hemlines and necklines. Who’d be interested in men, for God’s sake, when women are so amazing? But I didn’t choose that. I didn’t ask for it. It just happened. I don’t understand straight women, either, but thank heaven for them.

But what if I’d developed eyes for Steve or felt more kinship with Eve? What if — and here’s a novel thought for everybody — maybe people are telling the truth? Maybe they didn’t get any more choice about who they are than I did. Worth considering.

Besides — and another novel thought — it’s no skin off my nose who somebody is or wants to be. Even if being gay or trans were a choice, I’d be in awe of anyone with the raw courage necessary to wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say “All right, here’s to another day of being a second class citizen!”

We all have blind spots. And if we knew what they were we wouldn’t call them blind. Understand the best you can while realizing you can’t ever fully get it. Learn what you’re able. Don’t hate without a damn good reason.

It’s a cold and lonely enough world as it is. I know who and what I am, and have someone at home to love. What’s the sense in denying anybody else a little warmth, too? Cruelty sucks.