What I’ve concluded is that some guys are just constitutionally unable to deal with women. It’s all I can figure. I don’t know where the hate comes from. Maybe because I grew up in a very feminist house, my impression is that I tend to take people as they come rather than sorting by gender.
For instance, I prefer to avoid gendered slurs. Women I don’t like are assholes, shitheads, and so on, same as the men. The idea of hurling “bitch,” “cunt,” etc. at someone because they’re a woman feels alien. I avoid bitch even though it’s relatively genderless now because (a) it’s not a good state of affairs if it’s an insult to call a man a woman, and (b) my wife does not approve for that reason.
Of course, a man who rejects something because their wife disapproves is “pussy whipped” and looked down on by men — and some women. Knowing when “being a real man” is positive or negative can be tricky.
How much of it is religion classifying women as inferior? We weren’t a churchy family, so I never saw that, partly because my mother wouldn’t have stood for it. She scared me once in a political discussion when she growled very darkly, “Something will have to be done about the Christians.” I wasn’t sure she meant keeping it in traditional bounds.
She was not a soft and cuddly mom.
But too many men clearly have a problem with women, even ones who are married or have a sister. Is it trauma from being turned down in the dating process? Face it, chicks can be cruel. Getting laughed off too often might force an ego to get stuck between “I’m a loser” and “something is wrong with them” and choosing the latter.
Of course, being cruel isn’t gendered either, guys are quite good at it as well. But whether you gain acceptance from your fellow men is predictable and familiar — knowing your place in the pecking order is second nature.
But like every species in the natural world, human female mate selection is not cut and dried, to the point it can seem capricious. “He’s an asshole, and the girls are all over him!” is a common complaint in the Manosphere.
Wow, I didn’t know this would turn into a think piece. Sorry about that. Like many writers, I enjoy hearing myself talk…
